Miss Manners: Annotated Bibliography

Martin, Judith. Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium. New York: Pharos Books, 1989. 3. Print

Judith Martin was well known for her newspaper column, "Miss Manners", which was published in multiple newspapers spanning decades. This book is a collection of those columns that cover every conceivable social situation. The book is organized into easily accessed sections, with Ms. Martin introducing each with general informationa and advice .
This book offers many similar rules and etiquettes to Mrs. Post's publications. They are, however, modernized and more attainable to our generation.
These contemporary versions of Mrs. Post's rules are very useful, as they don't seem quite so old-fashioned and pompous This essay is meant to expose the drastic decline in social etiquette, and these examples provide helpful and simple ways in which people can improve their manners without seeming pompous for doing so.

The Figurative Frog

America is a melting pot. Over the last few decades with our fear of offending people and the necessity of being politically correct has come the decline of individualism. This, I feel, has played a large role in the decline of social standards. Heaven forbid, that people with grace and decorum make a person with horrible manners feel that they are somehow less of a person. What is this but a motivation to better oneself? Society is the boiling pot, I say. Most people know how you boil a frog alive. Put him into room temperature water and slowly raise the temperature so he doesn't realize he's getting cooked until it's too late. We've let respect and manners slip, rationalizing that children have more important things to be taught, until we have an entire country of rude unmotivated slobs. And unfortunately, this generation that has grown up not learning etiquette is now coming up into the leadership of the country. What will become of the next generation?

Will the trend change so that the young will respect and listen to the aged? Will we continue in this decline or will we finally one day realize our condition and leap from the steaming pot?

Yes Ma'am, No Sir

I see very little respect in my everyday wanderings. Whether it isn't helping an elderly woman with her groceries, not holding a door for a woman of any age, and even though it seems completely old fashioned, men not rising when a lady enters a room or joins them at a table. I miss seeing good manners even in everday situations, like the lack of proper language like "Sir", and "Ma'am". Even "Please" and "Thank you" seem to be slipping from our everyday vernacular.
What has brought about such a drastic change over the last 50 years or so? From the quasi-utopian family on "Leave it to Beaver" to the disrespect shown in almost every scene of "South Park". How about the change in gender roles in the last century? With the feminist movement, unfortunately, came the theory that women should be treated the same as men. How about the loss of respect for the elderly? With "unbiased" history so readily available, who needs the wisdon of the aged?

I have to say, I love it when I see people treating each other with courtesy and respect. I also think that one of the greatest resources we have is the wisdom and maturity of our elders.

Isn't That Cute

I have to admit that even I think that a young child just learning to eat solid food is something that I consider adorable. Even into ages 2-3 children still possess a certain charm that makes their misbehavior seem enchanting and their rudeness bring chuckles from those around them.

During these young ages it is the most important time to begin teaching them right from wrong.

So why do more and more children reach their teenage years with a minimal knowledge of which manners are acceptable and which are not? Why is it important in some families or communities to insure that their children are well mannered and polite, while others let their children learn from outside influences such as "The Simpsons", and "The Family Guy", which most would agree teach substandard behavior and manners? When is it no longer considered cute, but rude and disrespectful instead?

What are the differences between these two groups? Is it religion, education, wealth? Or is it that society today has such a low expectations of youth that taking the time to learn and live by high standards of etiquette seems like a complete waste of time to many people?